About the Ceremony
Our Saturday wedding ceremony with family is Quaker inspired!
So let me tell you a little about what I know of Quaker practices and what we plan for our ceremony.
Quaker worship is focused on listening and on community. There is no pastor or minister or specific topic of focus for a Sunday worship; it is known as "unprogrammed worship." With the belief that God, or the spirit, speaks thru all of us, there is no need for a pastor. When friends gather together to worship (and they refer to each other as friends, how cute!) they come together in "expectant silence" and pray/meditate/listen for what God or the spirit has to say to (a) them as an individual (b) them to tell the community or (c) someone else in the community to tell the community. When deciding if or if-not to say something to the community there are three guidelines I heard a Quaker suggest,
Is what’s on my mind a thought or a message? Maybe it’s something I just heard on the radio and I’m thinking about, which I can talk with my friends or partner about later.
Is the message for me or for the group?
Is the message for now or for later?
The Quaker belief around marriage is that only the individuals and God can make this commitment. It’s not for another person to tell you that you are now married, but rather for these two individuals to promise and commit.
What we hope to have for our wedding ceremony is less formal and less religious, as we are not Quakers and we have no set belief in a God.
That said, we do believe that we, together with our families and community, are the ones that make this promise and will put forth the effort to stay committed to it. We want to welcome you into this now and we invite wisdom, experience, thoughts about marriage, love, family, relationships, and living. We expect that as you’re with us this weekend, you will be with us in celebration and sorrow and support throughout our lives in person and in spirit and memory and we’re excited to start this today!
If you’re less comfortable with speaking in group settings we welcome any conversation style, a written message in our book or a conversation later. And for friends and family not with us on Saturday we welcome your message in any form at any time! Thank you for being on this journey with us!